Stop crying for a second and listen to me. Most funerals are absolute snooze fests—sad hymns, weeping relatives, and that weird silence where everyone is afraid to breathe too loud. It’s awkward, it’s depressing, and honestly? It’s a little basic. Why go out with a whimper when you could leave your entire family confused, uncomfortable, and lowkey laughing their asses off?
If you really want to be remembered, you need to curate that final send-off like it’s the main character moment of the century. It’s not about being disrespectful; it’s about having the last laugh.
The Situation
The irony is literally a lifestyle choice Imagine driving to see your dying grandpa, heart in your throat, tears streaming down your face, and the radio hits you with The Clash asking, “Should I stay or should I go?” You want to be mad, but the universe is just that cheeky. Laughter is the only way to survive the unsurvivable moments, so if the irony is perfect, you might as well lean into it. It’s not a scene; it’s a coping mechanism.
Hardcore anthems in the house of the Lord Who says church music has to be boring? One minister spilled the tea that they’ve seen full-on club bangers bumping through the sanctuary while they were trying to say the holy words. Trying to keep a straight face while talking about eternal life over a bass drop is spiritual warfare, but it’s also the kind of chaotic energy we need. If you’re gonna meet your maker, you might as well arrive with a beat you can vibe to.
“Highway to Hell” at the cremation This is the level of petty we aspire to. The family specifically requested to watch the coffin go into the flames—yes, that’s a thing you can ask for—and they timed AC/DC perfectly for the big reveal. Only the wife and son knew it was coming, so the rest of the congregation is just sitting there, traumatized but giggling. That is power.
Accidental ringtones are the new drama Technology is a curse, especially in 2008 when everyone had those loud, embarrassing ringtones. There is nothing quite like the silence of a rosary being shattered by “EVERYBODY DANCE NOW” blasting from someone’s pocket. It’s the kind of second-hand embarrassment that lasts a decade, but let’s be real, Nana would have wanted the party started early.
The “Ghostbusters” flex When you lose someone way too young, a sad playlist feels wrong. You need the Ghostbusters theme song. You need “Another One Bites the Dust.” Watching the older generation realize they are mourning to a cartoon theme is the kind of hilarity that heals the soul. It’s messy, it’s loud, and it’s exactly what they would have wanted.
Mr. Boombastic, respectfully Picture a 65-year-old Yorkshireman getting his final moment. The coffin is being carried in, the mood is somber, and suddenly Shaggy’s voice fills the room. The whole church lost it—smiling, chuckling, remembering the guy exactly as he was. If you can make people smile while you’re being lowered into the ground, you won the game of life.
What Do We Think?
Stop worrying about what’s “appropriate” because, quite frankly, it’s your funeral. Whether you want “Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead” or “I’ll Make Love To You,” the only person who gets a vote is you.
Life is messy, loud, and completely ridiculous, so the ending should match that energy. Make them laugh, make them cringe, just make sure they never forget the show. Go out with a bang, bestie.